


The Puppet Master

by JWMelmoth



Category: Glee
Genre: Free Kurt Puppet, M/M, Not Blaine or Klaine Friendly, crackfic, lolBlaine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-01
Updated: 2013-11-01
Packaged: 2019-03-23 17:40:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13792776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JWMelmoth/pseuds/JWMelmoth
Summary: Prompt: "Blaine takes the Kurt puppet home because that Kurt won’t ever argue with him or cheat on him and will always listen whenever Blaine needs a “fan.”





	The Puppet Master

**Author's Note:**

> Another puppet crack fic from the vaults, first posted on tumblr nov 2013.

"Oh Blaine, that bowtie looks great on you!”

“Thanks, Kurt. I wore it especially for you.”  
  
“Really? Wow, you must really love me very much.”

“I do! You’re my soulmate….. Kurt.”

“Will you please sing me a song, Blaine? I love it when you sing songs.”  
  
“Of course. What would you like me to sing?”

“Something romantic! How about _My Heart Will Go On_?”

“Hmm… how about something a little naughty?”

“Um…okay, I guess.” Kurt’s voice dropped an octave, but Blaine paid it no heed. He put his phone on speaker and started singing along with a song from the Magic Mike soundtrack.

“Wow,” Kurt squeaked as Blaine did a little grinding dance around him while he sang. “Sam’s been giving you dancing lessons huh?”

“Yeah… do you like it?” Blaine asked, a little breathless. He was concentrating very hard to reach the song’s higher notes.

“Yeah, it’s, uh… very hot.”

“ _If you’re horny, let’s do it - ride it - my pony… My saddle’s waiting, jump on it-_ ” Blaine sang, trying to undulate like Sam.

“Blaine?” Kurt asked, sounding a little insecure. “This song isn’t really about ponies is it?”

Blaine smiled. “You’re so sweet and innocent, Kurt. Do you want me to show you what it is really about?”

Kurt didn’t say anything. Blaine narrowed his eyes. “Go on,” he hissed under his breath. “Don’t ruin it now.”

“ _But how is that even gonna work_?”

“Just come and sit on my lap, Kurt,” Blaine said sweetly.

“Blaine, I’m not sure,” Kurt said. “Maybe we should sing another song.”

“Kurt. Don’t you love me?”

“Of course I do, we’re getting married!”

“Then come on- Here, I’ll help you.” Blaine pulled Kurt towards him by the lapels of his vest. His head flopped forward against Blaine’s belly. “Oh,” Blaine said, suddenly grinning, “Oh, is  _that_  what you want?”

“ _Blaine_ -”

“ _You owe me one_ ,” Blaine hissed. 

“Yeah, go on,” Blaine coaxed, pulling Kurt’s head into his lap with one hand as he unbuttoned his trousers with the other. “Oh baby, yes…” He kept his eyes fixed on Kurt the entire time, occasionally giving a few pointers as to how he wanted it. Finally he came, hands in Kurt’s hair, and he sagged blissfully back into his seat.

Sam straightened up, pulling his hand from the Kurt Puppet and draping it over Blaine’s lap. He looked red in the face. “Please don’t make me do that again, dude. It’s making me very uncomfortable. You’re my bro and I love you and all, but I don’t know if we should be damaging the school theatre puppets like that.”

Blaine smiled weakly, thinking about the Sam puppet he was saving for later.


End file.
